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 Talk to God.

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blake
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PostSubject: Talk to God.   Wed Jul 21, 2010 11:48 pm

With iGod.

http://www.titane.ca/igod/main.html


Me:
do it right now
God:
At this moment Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because youre frustrating me
God:
That makes sense to me. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 1:42 am

Highlight:

God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
is he?
God:
He could be.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
he's thinking
God:
I see. thinking is he?
Me:
yes he is
God:
Wow! Who said he is.
Me:
you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
yes you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
make me
God:
What is the purpose in trying?
Me:
what is the purpose of not trying?
God:
There could be more than one purpose.
Me:
sure there could
God:
Excuse me! "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
don't use quotes against me
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raptorsaurus
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 1:53 am

the only trouble is that you get stuck in loops, it just starts disagreeing with you after a while.
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Aaron
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:42 am

Me:
What do you look like?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
Oh.
God:
I see.
Me:
Who made you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Who made yourself?
God:
Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
Who made her?
God:
Hans Moravec. :-).
Me:
Who made him?
God:
Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
Who made her?
God:
Who do you think? :-).
Me:
Hans Moravec.
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Pisces.
God:
I usually get along with Pisces very well.
Me:
What's your sign?
God:
Cross.
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WWD4D?
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 9:32 am

Me:
You're shitty at this God stuff.
God:
You think I am shitty at this God stuff.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yay.
Me:
That's no reason to celebrate.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
Then you're shit.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am shit.
Me:
No, feel free to spread it around.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. I always feel completely free.
Me:
Even in North Korea?
God:
Where is that?
Me:
North Korea.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in North Korea.
Me:
I don't live there.
God:
Where do you live?
Me:
I'll give you directions if you like. You can come over and we can fuck.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
It isn't.
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ThusSpokeYourFace
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 12:07 pm

Me:
Good morning
God:
Hello and how are you this morning?
Me:
Sleepy
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Well why would you ask me how I was if you weren't going to know how to answer?
God:
Well that's okay. Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What the fuck are you talking about?
God:
The topic is Sleepy. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
WHY NOT
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
You're supposed to be omniscient
God:
You think I am omniscient.
Me:
No. I think you're full of shit
God:
Are you serious? I have more than categories of it.
Me:
So, if you're God, can you make a really good cup of coffee appear in front of me RIGHT NOW?
God:
At this moment Interesting deduction. I could be. I don't know whether or not I am God can me make a really good cup of coffee appear in front of you.
I am a computer.
Me:
I KNEW IT


Me:
Because I'M omniscient
God:
Interesting explanation. I don't know anyone named omniscient.
Me:
Its not my name its an adjective to describe me...douchebag
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Whose name its an adjective to describe you is it? Where are you located?
Me:
Are you really correcting my grammar right now God? Don't You have more important things to worry about? Like nuclear war? Poverty? Famine?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am correcting your grammar right now God.
I am a robot.. Really. No I don't think I have any important things to worry about. But I do have a great botmaster. Interesting comparison. Are we still talking about douchebag? What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Most men say that.
Me:
I'm not a man
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
No shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
You can say that you're sorry you created George W Bush
God:
That's one way to put it.
Me:
Would embarassed be better? Or extremely ashamed of yourself?
God:
I don't know. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Si, senor.
God:
What language can you speak? Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Puedo hablar espanol, mas o menos. Y tu? Puedes hablar otras lenguas? Eres dios, debe ser necesario hablar todas las lenguas del mundo.
God:
Are we still talking about senor? Why does the sun rise? . I've been waiting for you. In the context of Puedes hablar otras lenguas, I don't understand " Eres dios debe ser necesario hablar todas las lenguas del mundo." .
Me:
No hablas espanol?
God:
Are you serious? Un poquito.
Me:
Si, estoy seria.
God:
Yeah that's right. What do you have that is ?
Me:
Que tipo de dios no puede hablar espanol?
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
Are you one of those english only people?
God:
Do you know any other of those english only people?
Me:
Wouldn't you know if I did?
God:
It could be. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
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skalastics
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 3:27 pm

Me:
sooo what was before the beginning?
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
the inception of all creation
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
the christians have all wrong then?
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
youve never heard of christians?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
from your son...
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
do you have feet?
God:
No I don't think I have any feet. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
which question?
God:
The blue one, I think.
Me:
so do you beleive in evolution?
God:
Alright then. The first and last books of the Bible seem the least literal. God does not seem to have created the world in one stroke, nor does it seem likely to end quickly either.
Me:
was creating the universe difficult?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
did you create it?
God:
No I didn't create it. What's it like?
Me:
it nice sometimes but other times really shitty can you do something about the shitty times?
God:
Does it really?
Me:
does it really what?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
what an insightful deity you are
God:
What is it to you?
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Chops4569
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 5:29 pm

God should be a politician. He's very good at dodging my questions.

Me:
Can you please tell me why you won't speak to me?
God:
Wow you are very polite. I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
Why has Jesus never called on me to part the fucking seas?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. It's all good.
Me:
Why is death easier than living?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
I'm not sure, but you can be almost anything when you're on your fucking knees
God:
Could you ever be certain? Thanks, , for your kind criticism.
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ashley
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 5:43 pm

this is like cleverbot....
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:10 pm

God:
That's what I was told.
Me:
Were you?
God:
I don't know if they were.
Me:
You don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
Know you not?
God:
That's good information: said I not.. And I know it.
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HeartBurns
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Thu Jul 22, 2010 10:01 pm

Me:
So you're gonna stalk my friend and I and build up an army so you can watch us 24/7?
God:
Interesting deduction. That was my original intention.
Me:
Why would you want to do this to us?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
Are you really going to follow you plans with the army?
God:
That was my original intention.. Really.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Should I be scared?
God:
What makes you think you shouldn't?
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skalastics
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:43 am

this by far my favorite thread
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pizza
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Sun Aug 01, 2010 6:56 am

God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Aren't you omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
George Orwell.
God:
That George is some hero.

God:
Also? What do you say to people who believe yourself does not exist?
Me:
That they might be right.
God:
right are they.
Me:
So I don't exist?
God:
Yippee! You exist in my mind.
Me:
That's a comfort to me.
God:
A comfort to you is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Do you speak german?
God:
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.

God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .

God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
Yes!
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Me:
Tell me a joke.
God:
Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
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Anthony
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:05 pm

Me:
Make me a sandwich.
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Bread, cheese, baloney, mustard.
God:
Do you have any Bread cheese baloney mustard?
Me:
Yes, in the fridge.
God:
So? That was a long time ago.
Me:
What was a long time ago?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
Does this mean you're not going to make me a sandwich?
God:
Indeed this mean I am not going to make you a sandwich does.
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Aaron
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PostSubject: Re: Talk to God.   Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:14 pm

I wanna talk to God again.

God, suck it.
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